Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final is coming up in a few hours, and as much as I tried to have the thing cancelled, I regret to inform everyone that the series is still happening between Carolina and Vegas. That means Edmonton Oilers fans who are still interested in watching hockey are being asked to make the impossible decision between two teams that none of us want to see win anything. That’s why I put together this handy guide on how we Oilers fans can get through what is sure to be one of the more annoying Stanley Cup Finals that our boys aren’t even a part of.

On one side, you have the Golden Knights, a franchise that showed up what feels like five minutes ago, skipped the normal and expected expansion-team misery, won a Cup almost immediately, and has somehow continued to successfully operate like the salary cap is more of a suggestion than a rule. Part of me respects how they continuously build competitive teams like it’s their last day on earth because I can be a reasonable person from time to time, but that doesn’t mean I have to like watching them succeed when the rest of us have spent years praying for miracles and that we won’t get fleeced on trades.

On the other side, you have the Hurricanes, a team I have personally despised since 2006 and will continue to dislike until I flip them off one last time as my casket is being lowered into the ground. Carolina beat the Oilers in the Stanley Cup Final, Marc-Andre Bergeron drove Andrew Ladd into Dwayne Roloson, and even though that series happened long enough ago that some current NHL players weren’t even born yet, I reserve the right to keep my hatred alive for as long as I see fit. Some people grow and move on. I carry sports grudges with me for decades.

And with puck drop on Game 2 only hours away, I figured it was a good idea to put together an Oilers fan guide to hate-watching a Stanley Cup Final matchup that feels like it was designed in a lab to irritate Edmonton fans specifically.

Option 1: Do literally anything else

Arguably, the smartest choice for........

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