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Best of the Babylon Bee: US hockey team melts down gold medals to replace missing teeth

Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.

“What better use for all this gold?” said Team USA’s Jack Hughes, struggling to pronounce all the words through his chipped teeth. READ MORE

Mayor Zohran Mamdani reported a projected $5.4 billion budget gap, marking the first time in recorded history that a socialist has ever run out of money. READ MORE

According to sources, Carlson, ever the professional, tried to push these thoughts to the back of his mind because he was not a conspiracy theorist obsessed with the Jews. READ MORE

“Oh, that was him?” voter Randal Caspian said. “I didn’t realize he was the governor of that state. California isn’t really the state I want to model the entire country on. That place is the worst.” READ MORE

Danica Patrick trolls Canada with '51st state' shot after crushing Olympics loss

Danica Patrick trolls Canada with '51st state' shot after crushing Olympics loss

Pat McAfee had $150K surprise for Team USA at wild gold-medal celebration

Pat McAfee had $150K surprise for Team USA at wild gold-medal celebration

What Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift have been up to as couple remain under the radar

What Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift have been up to as couple remain under the radar

Up in the Blue Seats - Rangers Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Up in the Blue Seats - Rangers

The Show with Joel Sherman and Jon Heyman  Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

The Show with Joel Sherman and Jon Heyman 

The Dodgers Post Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Blue Rush: NY Giants Football Podcast Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Blue Rush: NY Giants Football Podcast

Gang’s All Here: A NY Jets Football Podcast Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Gang’s All Here: A NY Jets Football Podcast

NY Got Game: Basketball Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

NY Got Game: Basketball

Pinstripe Post - Yankees Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Pinstripe Post - Yankees

Against the Cage - Combat Sports Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Against the Cage - Combat Sports

Straight Outta Flushing - Mets Listen on Apple Podcasts Spotify

Straight Outta Flushing - Mets

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Mike Vaccaro Knicks' mail-it-in loss is totally unacceptable — and can't happen again

Knicks' mail-it-in loss is totally unacceptable — and can't happen again

Zach Braziller St. John's won't take foot off gas for UConn rematch with roles reversed

St. John's won't take foot off gas for UConn rematch with roles reversed

Mark Cannizzaro Team USA star's Olympic heroics might just lift him into a new NHL stratosphere

Team USA star's Olympic heroics might just lift him into a new NHL stratosphere

Halle Berry reveals the one thing she refuses to do during sex amid engagement to Van Hunt

Bill Gates admits he had 2 affairs with Russian women, apologizes to staff over Epstein ties

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