Remember Trump’s 5-Minute Rant About Sharpies? It Just Got Weirder

Turns out President Trump shared a totally imaginary conversation.

President Donald Trump took nearly five minutes out of a Thursday Cabinet meeting to tell the country a rambling, completely made-up story about his beloved Sharpie pens.

In the middle of a discussion of the Trump administration’s plans to remodel the Kennedy Center, a possibly half-asleep Trump launched into a tangent about the Sharpie he was holding in his hand.

“This pen is an interesting example,” Trump declared. “This pen is very inexpensive, but it writes well. I like it.”

Trump then said that, after deciding he wanted a more official-looking Sharpie, he convinced the company to sell him personalized markers at $5 a pop. In his own words:

“I called the guy—I said, ‘I’d like to use your pen, but I can’t have a gray thing with a big S on it saying “Sharpie” as I’m signing a $1 trillion airplane contract to buy brand new fighter jets.’

“He said, ‘I’ll paint it black.… And I can even paint the White House on it, sir, if you like, in gold.’ Almost real gold. Not bad. ‘And I can even do your signature, sir.… You don’t have to pay me, sir. I’ll give them to you for nothing.’

“I said, ‘No, I don’t want that. Let me pay you. I want to pay you.’

“‘No, sir. You don’t have to. You’re the president of the United States.’ He was shocked. The head of Sharpie. He gets a call. I don’t even know who the hell he is.

“He said, ‘He’s really the president? … No, you don’t have to pay me, sir. This is such an honor.’ I said, ‘No, I want to pay you.’ And he said, ‘What would you like to pay?’ I said, ‘How about five bucks a pen?’ He said, ‘That’s all right.’”

In addition to this not actually being that much of a good deal—you can buy your own Sharpie with your name and custom art for less than $2 on the official retailer’s website—Sharpie company officials promptly told The Washington Post that Trump’s story was false.

“We don’t have any information about the conversation described,” a spokesperson for the marker company said.

It remains to be seen whether a reporter will confront Trump or White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt about this fib. In any case, we can mark it as one of the more harmless lies on top of the tens of thousands of insidious ones the president has told since taking office for the first time in 2016.

Trump: You see this pen right here? This pen is very inexpensive. But it writes well. I like it. Sharpie. I came here. They had $1,000 pens. You hand out pens. You hand them to people. 30, 40 people. They were $1,000 a piece. Beautiful pen, ball point. I hand out to kids that… pic.twitter.com/mrEXypiA0o— Acyn (@Acyn) March 26, 2026

Trump: You see this pen right here? This pen is very inexpensive. But it writes well. I like it. Sharpie. I came here. They had $1,000 pens. You hand out pens. You hand them to people. 30, 40 people. They were $1,000 a piece. Beautiful pen, ball point. I hand out to kids that… pic.twitter.com/mrEXypiA0o

CPAC Host Stunned as Crowd Erupts in Cheers for Trump Impeachment

Attendees at this years Conservation Political Action Conference seem more lost than ever.

Attendees at the 2026 Conservation Political Action Conference seem to be dazed and confused after a disastrously chaotic month for President Donald Trump. In the last 30 days, he has started a war in the Middle East, deployed federal agents to airports, and refused to end the partial government shutdown.

While speaking from the CPAC stage Friday in Grapevine, Texas, American Conservative Union chairman Matt Schlapp asked a question he apparently thought would hype up the crowd.

“How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings?”

The crowd erupted in cheers.

“No,” Schlapp responded, shaking his head. “That was the wrong answer. Let me try it again. How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings?” he asked the crowd for a second time.

Again, he was met with cheers.

“NOOO!” Schlapp responded with a chuckle. He dropped the question and hastily moved on, seemingly accepting that Trump’s base apparently doesn’t know what impeachment means—despite the fact that the president has now been impeached twice.

An attempt by @mschlapp to hype up the CPAC crowd goes horribly wrong —"How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings?"[cheers]"That was the wrong answer..." pic.twitter.com/PQUCThdgV3— Andrew Feinberg (@AndrewFeinberg) March 27, 2026

An attempt by @mschlapp to hype up the CPAC crowd goes horribly wrong —"How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings?"[cheers]"That was the wrong answer..." pic.twitter.com/PQUCThdgV3

Though they’re united by red MAGA caps and American flag attire, the crowd at CPAC appears to be uncharacteristically disengaged after Trump’s tumultuous first year back in office. Younger and older members are divided over the war in Iran, affordability is plummeting, and the Epstein files have raised suspicions across MAGA. One young attendee told CNN many of his fellow Trump supporters now “can’t stand the guy.” It’s a starkly different mood from last year’s conference, where many declared Trump’s election was the start of the golden years.

In a separate instance Thursday, the crowd again did not know when or how to cheer. In a conversation with White House border czar Tom Homan, CPAC host Melody Schlapp asked how Trump immigration policies compared to the “Biden years.”

Waiting for a reaction, Schlapp paused and turned her head to the crowd. She was met with silence.

“I’m not hearing a boo when I say Joe Biden, people! Come on! We do audience participation here!”

Democrats Hunt Down Epstein........

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