This 1 Toxic Parenting Habit May Be The Reason Siblings Resent Each Other

Not only can it fuel emotions like anger, fear and jealousy, but it can also leave siblings carrying burdens they never asked for.

Rod Mitchell, the oldest child in his family, remembers being nine when his seven-year-old sister reached for a large Lego tower he’d spent all afternoon building.

When he grabbed it back, a piece flew off, and she started crying. Instead of asking what happened, their parents said: “You’re older. You should know better.”

“That’s the same sentence I now coach parents to replace,” said Mitchell, who is a registered psychologist and clinical director at Emotions Therapy Calgary. “I clearly remember anger at feeling unfairly treated, and underneath that a lesson formed in my mind: her tears were proof of something, and my account of what happened wasn’t.”

As a parent, it may seem like you’re teaching your kids responsibility or how to get along, but you could also be assigning them roles within the family without realising it.

When certain expectations repeatedly fall on the same child, they can shape how siblings see themselves, and each other, long after childhood, influencing sibling relationships for years to come. Here, family therapists break down what they want parents to know about these patterns.

The Sibling Roles That Can Take Shape In Families

Role assignment is common in families. Patterns naturally develop when you start dividing responsibilities, managing differences between children and keeping daily life running smoothly.

Over time, these patterns can become familiar sibling roles, from the responsible child and caretaker to the peacemaker, the rebellious child or one who avoids creating additional stress.

“Sibling roles typically emerge organically in response to personality, birth order, family stress and the ways parents react to each child,” said Emily Waitt, clinical director of Kincove, an adolescent, young adult and family-focused mental health and wellness centre.

“One........

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