How To Handle A Conversational Narcissist

Here’s how to spot conversational narcissism and handle it.

Culture & Parenting Reporter, HuffPost

A healthy conversation has a natural rhythm, a give-and-take in which both people feel heard, understood and valued. But with some people, that balance never quite happens.

That’s the case with what experts call “conversational narcissism.”

“Conversational narcissism is a communication style wherein an individual centres themselves in conversations, engages in oneupmanship, fails to ask follow-up questions and has a difficult time maintaining interest in what other people have to say,” Natalie Moore, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told HuffPost.

A conversational narcissist can leave you feeling drained and like you couldn’t get a word in edgewise. They tend to be inattentive and lack curiosity.

“Whatever you share is quickly met with a more extreme or more compelling version of their own experience,” said Tracy Ross, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in couples and family therapy. “Over time, the conversation stops feeling like an exchange and starts to feel one-sided. It results in leaving an interaction feeling unsatisfied and empty.”

Conversational narcissists don’t necessarily have narcissistic personality disorder, though some may fall somewhere on the narcissism spectrum.

“It’s also important to note that many of us have been guilty of conversational narcissism from time to time,” said Lauren Maher, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in anxiety, trauma and narcissistic abuse recovery. “If you notice that you’ve inadvertently done this, take a breath, make sure that you bring the conversation back to the original speaker and follow up by asking them questions about their experience.”

There are also best practices for those who find themselves interacting with a conversational narcissist. Below, experts break down ways you can navigate these situations while protecting your energy and reclaiming your voice.

Acknowledge your feelings ― but try not to take it personally.

“First, acknowledge any feelings that are arising for you ― such as frustration, indignation, anger, disappointment or loneliness,” Moore said. “Engaging in an interaction with someone who is a conversational narcissist can bring up lots of intense feelings, especially if you’re someone who spends effort maintaining balance in conversations who values reciprocity in relationships.”

“If I’m grabbing........

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