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I Thought Self-Improvement Would Make Me Happy. I Couldn’t Have Been More Wrong.

You’re allowed to be messy, to be someone’s cup of coffee rather than tea.

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If I could go back and tell my 20-something self anything, it’d be to stop prioritizing self-improvement over intentional living.

I’ve spent so many years trying to become my “best self” that I forgot who I was entirely. I over-analyzed every thought that crossed my mind, every feeling that passed through my body, every word I spoke to friends, every mood I fell into, until I became a project rather than a human. My desire to be perfect, to move through the world gracefully and detached, outweighed my purpose and passions. 

I was my absolute lowest when I was trying to be my absolute best. 

My Quest For Self-Improvement

Many of us fall into the self-improvement void at some point in life. At first, we believe it might keep us safe from pain, heartbreak, rejection, drama, turmoil…but eventually, we realize it isn’t quite as “productive” or even protective as we’d assumed. At least, not when approached with some arbitrary, unattainable objective in mind.

It’s hard to make any sort of progress when you’re operating from a place of fear, self-hatred, and shame—and that’s exactly what I was doing. I stopped reading fiction so I could work my way through more self-help books. I prioritized exercise,........

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