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3 Ways to Navigate Losing Attraction to Your Partner, According to a Sex Therapist

A sex therapist explains how stress, routine, and emotional distance can affect attraction—and how to talk about it without blaming your partner.

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Many long-term couples fall into a rut at some point in their relationship, believing their lack of a sex life means they’ve lost attraction to each other. But oftentimes, this isn’t actually the case—and even if it is, it’s usually more complex than “I no longer think they’re hot.” (Unless, of course, you’re only with your partner for shallow reasons.)

Love and attraction go far beyond the physical. For example, a deep emotional connection, safety, mystery, spontaneity, personal confidence…these all play into our ability to feel sexual toward another person.

If you’re feeling less attracted to your partner, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.

Why You Suddenly Feel Unattracted to Your Partner

Losing attraction to your partner can feel like a death sentence for your relationship, but many factors play into attraction and chemistry.

“There are MANY reasons someone might lose attraction to their partner, and 99% of them pertain to the person themself as well as to changing dynamics in a relationship,” says Lauren Goldstein, an........

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