Like most Americans, I’m over-the-moon excited to not see “Melania,” an unrequested documentary about first lady Melania Trump that was produced by first lady Melania Trump and stars first lady Melania Trump.

Did I mention it’s called “Melania”? A better title might have been “A Turducken of Narcissism,” but that’s splitting hairs.

The documentary opens Jan. 30 in an almost hilarious number of theaters nationwide. Amazon MGM Studios paid the first lady’s production company a whopping $40 million for the rights to the film and has shelled out an additional $35 million promoting the nearly two-hour celebration of meh. I'm sure that investment has nothing to do with a huge corporation trying to curry favor with an administration helmed by the most attention-thirsty political family in history. Total coincidence.

Setting aside Amazon’s intentions, the release of this unprecedented bit of first-lady puffery in a moment when America is in absolute chaos – with horrific immigrant roundups happening daily and masked federal agents gunning down U.S. citizens – provides a convenient chance for patriotic mockery.

And there is plenty to mock, none of which requires you to shell out........

© USA TODAY