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Rex HuppkeChicago Tribune |
Great news for Americans who hate science and morals and have always wanted a job they’re in no way qualified to get. Thanks to President-elect...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute. President-elect Donald Trump has started appointing screwballs for important government positions, making plans...
In a potential blow to the “Donald Trump is NOT a fascist!” crowd, the president-elect has made a fascist-adjacent demand: He wants to install...
So, I’m standing in the forest and there’s this bear barreling toward me and I’m pretty sure it wants to eat my face. Clearly, the most...
Almost a week out from Donald Trump’s commanding presidential victory, I have a suggestion for Democrats, anti-MAGA conservatives and others on my...
You want to know how badly the Democrats screwed up the presidential election? So badly they forgot to cheat. I had it on very good authority – from...
With grace and humility, Vice President Kamala Harris stood before the American people Wednesday and acknowledged that she lost the 2024 presidential...
Good morning, and welcome to hell, or as it’s known in modern-day America, “the day after Election Day.” We still don’t know who won, largely...
I never want to hear the words “America is better than this” again. I never want to be told about America’s better angels. I want honesty. I...
I’m voting, proudly and loudly, for Vice President Kamala Harris, and the simplest reason is this: As president, Donald Trump will harm people I...
The end of daylight saving time is perfect this year, because it gives GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump and his surrogates an extra hour to lie...
One of Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris’ campaign slogans is a simple: We’re not going back. That can mean many things to different...
Let's see if we can detect the subtle difference in our two presidential candidate’s closing messages. Vice President Kamala Harris, before tens of...
At Donald Trump’s racist, hate-filled Madison Square Garden rally this weekend, the Republican Party got a look at rock bottom, and American voters...
Conservatives and independents shouldn’t pay much mind to liberals like me who fear what might happen if Donald Trump becomes the next president. We...
Republicans and conservative commentators spent Wednesday responding to shocking revelations by The Atlantic that Donald Trump, while president, said...
This may come as a shock to some, but Donald Trump is not an economic genius. He’s a full-of-it fabulist who somehow branded himself a master of the...
Donald Trump started the weekend bizarrely telling a rally crowd that late golf great Arnold Palmer had a large penis, and ended it pretending to be a...
Despite all the faux clairvoyance of pollsters and political pundits and the endless babble from social media Nostradamuses, there isn’t a soul in...
It seems Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is required to have at least one despicable moment per day, and Thursday was no different. Staunch...
Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris went into America’s Den of Misinformation – Fox News – for a Wednesday night interview that...
Correction & clarification: A prior version of this column misspelled the name of Fox News host Harris Faulkner. The death of Amber Thurman, a...
Great news, fellow Americans! Donald Trump is going to save us from the racist dystopia he has completely fabricated! It’s clear that in the closing...
GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump has the utmost respect for women. For proof, go back to earlier this week when he referred to the six female...
I grew up in Florida, and I can tell you hurricanes don’t give a damn about your politics. They’re vicious, destructive, deadly. They’re...
Dear voters who don’t only watch Fox News: We here at the Donald Trump presidential campaign realize some of you may have heard or read about a new...
It was only a matter of time before Fat Bear Week turned violent. The annual online tournament pitting bears who lift heavy forks against their girthy...
The most important takeaway from the vice presidential debate between Republican JD Vance and Democrat Tim Walz was this: Lunatic Donald Trump remains...
Great news for people who enjoy lies: CBS News won’t allow its vice presidential debate moderators to engage in any fact-checking. That is an...
The bar for “behavior Trump-supporting Republicans will excuse” is now set so low it’s subterranean. This past week, a Haitian nonprofit...
Comrade Kamala Harris gave an economic speech in Pittsburgh on Wednesday, and let me tell you, it was light on the two things I demand out of a...
Don’t worry, women of America. Donald Trump is going to protect you at a level never seen before! I know this because the former president said so...
Donald Trump’s reelection campaign seems to now be 50% incoherent babbling and 50% profoundly racist lies, a mix that begs the question: Are Trump...
Donald Trump wants you to believe “rhetoric” from Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris and her campaign led to a possible assassination...
Given all the uproar over GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump’s baseless, utterly false and profoundly racist claims that Haitian immigrants are...
In politics, it's always good to lean hard into a wildly dishonest claim that dehumanizes a whole swath of the population while having one of your top...
And now, a brief message to Republicans in the wake of Tuesday night’s presidential debate: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA! Are you freakin’ kidding me? That...
The moderators at Tuesday night’s presidential debate know full well what they’re going to get out of Donald Trump. Asked about an economic plan,...
To the pundits and the Republicans who relentlessly decried President Joe Biden’s age, “cognitive decline” and “mental acuity” right up to...
As a liberal in good standing, I never imagined I’d find myself admiring the good sense of former Republican Vice President Dick Cheney. But here we...
As the presidential elections draws near, I’m happy to see my good friend and fellow manly man Jesse Watters of Fox News holding Democratic vice...
In the wake of a deadly Georgia school shooting, JD Vance, the Republican who incorrectly thinks he’s qualified to be vice president of the United...
Great news, fellow patriots. I’ve found another thing Democratic presidential nominee "Comrade Kamala Harris" is bad at: Communism. As you’ve...
That’s it, folks, I’m calling it: Let it be known, in September of the year 2024, that JD Vance ‒ aka “The Bearded Weird” ‒ is officially...
So Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris will FINALLY sit down for a televised interview with a mainstream media journalist Thursday night....
GOP presidential nominee and tender little darling Donald Trump has started casting doubt on whether he’ll show up to an agreed-upon Sept. 10 debate...
Donald Trump, JD Vance and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. walk into the Republican Party and take over. That’s it. That’s the joke. A presidential ticket...
It seems, from the jubilant success of last week’s Democratic National Convention to Donald Trump’s public writhing, that when presidential...
CHICAGO — I guess I didn’t expect a coup to end with a balloon drop. Vice President Kamala Harris accepted her party’s presidential nomination...