One of the great things about the World Cup happening in the United States is all these foreigners coming over here and experiencing America for the first time without the lens of their communist media lying to them. And there’s been no bigger surprise, as evidenced by countless YouTube and X videos, than the Euros’ reaction to our food. That’s because America’s food kicks butt. It’s amazing. We’ve got a lot of great stuff, and there’s a lot of it. And that’s just one more reason why we’re better than everybody else. Or at least we were.

Now, I don’t want to disrespect foreigners and their food—well, some foreigners. You have to actively look for a bad meal in Italy. France is okay, but more hit-and-miss than you might expect. I do highly recommend French pizza, which they often serve with a hot oil sauce that is pretty amazing. But Euro portions tend to be small, their drinks lack ice, and their meat often has this kind of weird taste, like wet newsprint. And some cultures are actively awful when it comes to food. The British are just hopeless. If you like schnitzel, you’re golden in Germany, but that’s about it. I have no idea what the Austrians eat, and I’ve been there.

They’ve had a chance to see what we’ve got to offer, and it’s kind of blown their minds. Watching Britons, who have eaten nothing but boiled beans and kippers, chowing down on succulent ribs has been a delight. But we do have to confront some problems here in the United States with our own food. Some of it’s devolving. I don’t want to talk badly about my own country, but let’s face some facts. Even as our prices go through the roof—I have trouble getting a decent sit-down breakfast for under 40 bucks—the quality of a lot of our food is going downhill. Now don’t tell the foreigners. We’re still better than they are. But we need to confront this problem and resolve it.

One of the benefits of America is that we’ve pretty much got the best of everything here. See, immigration isn’t all bad. But the funny thing is we........

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