WHEN YOU BECOME the parent of a disabled child, you start noticing things most people never think about.

Not big philosophical things necessarily. Very practical things.

Door widths. Pavements. Waiting lists. Accessible bathrooms. Wheelchair ramps. The emotional atmosphere inside hospitals. Whether a building has automatic doors. Whether there is funding available for equipment that allows your child to exist more comfortably in the world.

You begin noticing the invisible architecture of a society.

And strangely, I think one of the biggest things I have learned since moving to Ireland is that people often do not realise the value of something until they have experienced life without it.

Now, before anybody panics, this is not a political article. I am not here to start lecturing people about tax while dramatically waving spreadsheets around. I can barely keep track of my glucose levels at the moment, never mind national fiscal policy.

But I have lived in two very different systems, and that perspective changes the way you see almost everything.

I grew up in Zambia and later raised my son Oliver there during his early years. Oliver has cerebral palsy. When we lived in Zambia, he had a stroller. 

Not because that was ideal, but because the next stage up from a stroller — a proper supportive mobility device — was financially inaccessible to us.

Those types of supports existed, technically. In the same way that yachts technically exist for most ordinary people. You can look at them online. You just are not bringing one home.

And when you are raising a disabled child in a country where support systems are limited, every aspect of life becomes a calculation.

Therapy becomes a calculation. Equipment becomes a calculation. Assessments become a calculation. Accessibility becomes a calculation. Every decision carries financial weight.

At the time, living there, I think I simply accepted that reality because it was normal to us. Human beings adapt incredibly quickly to whatever environment they are in.

Then we moved to Ireland.

And........

© TheJournal