This Friday, the 8th of Iyar, marks the 9th anniversary of my father’s passing.  I would like to share a few words about my father and a few fascinating customs the Jewish people have when it comes to death and remembering those who are no longer with us.  My father was a man of very few words.  He was also one who always expected the worst to happen in every circumstance.  If he given a glass of ice water which was 90% full, he would point out it was 10% empty.  He was also not the most observant person.  However, he never put on a facade, a fake front or tried to convince people he was something he was not.  To his credit, the way he lived and how he interacted with people was honesty, logical realism mixed with understanding.  In today’s world, perception is everything.  Most people are concerned about posting the perfect picture to Facebook or saying the latest “cool” thing to get the most followers on Instagram.  This did not interest my father in the slightest.  Another accolade my father was known for which I miss greatly was his wisdom and advice.  When approached with extremely complex issues which had multifaceted layers, he would listen to the problem, ask pinpointed questions and effortlessly come up with actionable solutions.  Much has changed in my life over the last nine years, and there are many personal topics I would love to discuss with him.  He had the ability to tell me what I needed to hear in a manner only he could deliver.

After his heart attack, he never fully recovered.  He was literally schlepped by my mom to hundreds of doctor appointments over the remaining two and a half years of his life. Eventually, he was cleared to travel in a car, which is when my parents went to the Hebrew cemetery in Peoria to purchase plots.  My father always liked the shade, and he wanted to be buried underneath a tree.  He found one not too far inside the cemetery gates which he really liked. I do not think he fully understood how important trees are in Judaism, but they are paramount.  The Torah is called an “Yeitz Chaim,” which literally means “a tree of life” (Proverbs 3:18).  It also refers to those who live a holy lifestyle as “fruit of the righteous” (Proverbs 11:30).  In fact, trees are so important, even in war, all effort should be made to........

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