A couple of weeks ago, I apprehended a shoplifter in the carpark of my local shopping centre. Now, you probably wouldn’t have picked me as a vigilante, but that day was unusual, in many ways.

I had just returned to my car (parked, as always, on level two because if I park anywhere else I will lose my car and spend an hour wandering around before contacting security, only to have them drive me in a buggy to my car, which is embarrassing; it has happened to me twice), and noticed the woman, mid-theft.

“I am not a criminal. I am just extremely absent-minded.”Credit: iStockphoto

She was placing a rather large black backpack from a sports store into her boot. I had been in that store at the same time, and knew the woman had not paid for the bag. I was horrified, and told her in no uncertain terms to return it, then marched her back to the store.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: How did I know she hadn’t paid for the backpack?

Because it was me. I was the woman. I stole a backpack from a store.

To be fair, I didn’t mean to steal the bag. I just took it without paying. There is a difference, you know. I........

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