Plenty of narratives can be pulled out of last Thursday’s elections. Labour’s shattered hold over its Northern and Welsh heartlands; the imperviousness of Scottish voters to the inadequacies of SNP rule; the onward march of Reform; the continuing irrelevance of the Lib Dems; the foaming of the River Tiber heralded by sectarian success. But one that cannot – if you still want to be able to look yourself in the eye in the morning mirror – is that they were good for the Conservatives.

Trying to turn these results into a victory only leaves Badenoch looking like Comical Kemi

Trying to turn these results into a victory only leaves Badenoch looking like Comical Kemi

Kemi Badenoch was out in front of the cameras early, surrounded by beaming activists, heralding her party’s success in taking back Westminster from Labour. Seizing back Buckingham Palace’s council was the jewel in the crown of several good results: Wandsworth, though only reduced to no overall control, seems set for a Conservative administration, while the party won or held on areas like Harlow, Harrow, Bexley and Broxtowe. Overall losses were down on last year; vote share estimates were up. But trying to spin these results into a victory only left Badenoch looking like Comical Kemi. ‘There are no Reform infidels in Bexley. Never!’

Good news! The party held or won back a few councils. But it was still down 563 councillors. Good news! The party’s loss rate was 44 per cent, rather than last year’s 68 per cent. But the vote share was still down 11 points in 2022, when these councils were last contested amid Partygate, and in Scotland and Wales, the party plummeted from 2nd to 5th and 2nd to 4th respectively. This election was the one where the Tories, after quite the innings, were finally ended as a national force. So long expected, it is almost........

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