Andy Burnham was at the government despatch box for the first time in nearly 17 years, having had the sort of carefree summer that one would normally associate with an Enid Blyton story rather than a premiership. His grand entrance was somewhat overshadowed by one final act of petty vindictiveness by Sir Keir Starmer who announced he was resigning his seat – despite repeatedly promising not to do so – just a couple of hours before Burnham was due to speak. On current form Sir Keir is going to make Ted Heath’s ‘Incredible Sulk’ look like the picture of magnanimity. Burnham thanked Starmer for his service in the same way one might thank the veterinary nurse who euthanised your pet gerbil.

The Middlesbrough carnage is just the beginning

Burnham is a big state man heading for disaster

Men shouldn’t be worrying about their looks

As an aside, how fitting it is that Sir Keir’s departure should involve one final dollop of shamelessness, that having repeatedly taunted Rishi Sunak with suggestions that he’d move to California after losing the general election, Starmer should cut and run while Sunak remains in parliament. Mendacious and hypocritical to the very end. The sheer consistency is almost reassuring. 

Not dwelling long on his predecessor, Burnham announced he was here to tell us all about ‘the direction’ in which he was going to take the country – northwards is surely the only answer to that. Or perhaps it was backwards; certainly much of what Burnham was announcing involved reversing a steamroller over actions put into motion by Sir Keir’s ministry. 

Alas, not all of the obvious reversals had........

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