Want to Find Inner Peace? Be Quiet.

Mr. Fishman is the author, most recently, of the novel “The Unwanted.”

As happens for many people, my 30s were a decade of belated culminations: marriage, children, professional achievement (for me, the publication of novels and a teaching job). However, it all refused to settle into place. My wife and I struggled to get along. Parenthood was sometimes “all joy and no fun.” The novels received critical praise but sold modestly, and the teaching job was 1,500 miles from where my wife wanted, and continued, to live.

I didn’t know what would help, but I knew what wouldn’t: talking about it.

I had spent two decades in and out of therapy, to some insight but little transformation. Ditto for the couples therapy my wife and I had undertaken. I also felt like I’d been talking........

© The New York Times