Growing up, Yizkor was the time during services when my mom would bustle us out of the sanctuary of our suburban Arizona synagogue, lest we tempt the evil eye by being present during this special memorial service for the congregation’s departed. It was understood that the only people who remained were those who say Mourner’s Kaddish (the Jewish prayer for the dead), because they had experienced the death of a parent, spouse, sibling or child.

People uninitiated into the community of mourners would quietly shuffle out of the sanctuary and would often leave for home soon after. As a kid, this suited me fine. I had a mom-endorsed time to run around the courtyard, schmooze with my friends and, on Yom Kippur, I could peek at what the Sisterhood ladies were preparing for break-fast. Yizkor became this mysterious event.

Five years ago, that all changed for me. My dad died in October 2021 and now, on four holidays (Yom Kippur, Passover, Shavuot and Shemini Atzeret, which is observed this year on Saturday, Oct. 2), I find myself in the sanctuary during Yizkor. What was once shrouded in mystery was now revealed as a relatively brief but nonetheless poignant service where many people weep openly as their loved ones’ names and photographs appear,........

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