For reasons purely related to vanity, I’ve had to give up coffee. It’s not for ever, unless it takes me for ever to get my teeth whitened, so I’m not minded to wean myself off caffeine entirely. But it’s not for a short enough time that I can simply stop whining and weather the low-level headache, the mental sluggishness and the frankly unbearable taste of water.

No problem, I thought: I will survive on energy drinks. What’s embarrassing about that? What could possibly be shameful about going........

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