Bogglingly, Andy Burnham didn’t even wait to become prime minister before organising yesterday’s ludicrous photo of him standing in Westminster Hall, backdropped by hundreds of fawning Labour MPs, like Dorothy surrounded by the munchkins. Or like the bit in Return of the Jedi where the detestably cutesy Ewoks worship C-3PO as a god. Actually, the Westminster Hall visual was even naffer than the Ewoks singing their abysmal Yub Nub song of triumph at the end of that movie. Maybe it’ll sell a lot of soft toys.

Is there Andy Burnham merchandise yet? It feels as though it could be in the post. A decade ago, at the peak of the SNP’s powers, the party sold a whole diffusion line called the “Nicola signature range”, which included covetable items such as onesies, teddies and shopping bags, presumably ideal for filling with £2,600 salt and pepper grinders, or multiple gaming console gifts for any motorhome visitors.

But back to the supposed prime-minister-in-waiting, whose team, we learn from selected briefings, now feel Keir Starmer’s overly prompt departure means Andy’s “not going to be close to being ready”. Aww. We’ll have to see how long Burnham can credibly sell the idea that he is just a relatable guy this event has happened to, as opposed to because of.

We’ve had sufficient transfers of power in the past decade to get a feel for their aesthetics, and the style of this one is decidedly twee. Maybe they’ve all been........

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