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Thank You ‘Fewer Toys’ Trump, You’re a Bigger Grinch than Me

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Trump made headlines this week for going all Marie Kondo on the American economy—and I am here for it. During an interview with Meet the Press’s Kristen Welker, Trump answered a question about rising prices due to his tariffs on China by declaring his aversion to the excesses of American-style capitalism: “I don’t think that a beautiful baby girl—that’s 11 years old—needs to have 30 dolls,” said the President, before continuing later in the interview, “They can have three.”

In that same interview, he also stated that the nation’s rates of pencil ownership have gotten out of control: “They don’t need to have 250 pencils,” he decreed of the sick stationery addicts among us. “They can have five.”

Exactly right! Families across the nation going broke trying to keep up with the latest pencil innovations. Our strategic graphite reserves at an all-time low. Finally, an American president has the courage to stand up to those b----rds at Dixon-Ticonderoga.

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Is it surprising that the President of the United States is now dictating how many dolls, crayons, vaccines or

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