Give algae the Nobel Peace Prize!

Algae did not pay me to write this column but after I’m finished, I think you’ll agree that algae owes me some money. I mean, has any chlorophyll-based organism ever received the kind of breathless PR that the pond pool scum taking over our nation’s Capitol has gotten the past few days? Since its first bloom following the president’s much-vaunted Reflection Pool rehabilitation, algae has smothered more than just D.C.’s pre-eminent water feature, but also our collective psyche. To which I say: good! To which I further say: give algae the Nobel Peace Prize!

Somehow, a single-celled life form has done what the combined brain power of millions could not: it took algae to finally fully undress our emperor. (And not because he was planning to paddle in said Reflecting Pool.) The emperor, needless to say, is not pleased. On Truth Social, Trump has been raging against fictitious “vandals” cutting a fictitious 350-foot gash in the pool liner, but it was algae that lit the fuse.

It was algae that finally said, “Enough!” Algae that demonstrated a persistent courage the Republican Party lacks. Algae that led a new American Revolution – this one a Green Revolution. Algae that mobilized bored National Guardsmen from picking up trash to standing guard against the tyranny of........

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