Picture the scene: you’re eight weeks pregnant with your first baby.

A person is almost fully formed inside your belly.

As beautiful as this is, your body isn’t what it was when you wed.

So many veins have popped up, your breasts look like a road map, your ankles are kankles and your face is tired from lack of getting more than an hour of continual sleep for weeks.

It’s time for your antenatal class, where husbands are invited along, and this week’s topic is breastfeeding.

“Great news,” the leader of the class says cheerfully.

“We have a new mum to show us how it’s done.

“Her baby is three months old and mum is loving her breastfeeding journey.

“And here she is. Please welcome Astrid!”

‘Perfect’ mum showed us how to breastfeed

Cue utter, jaw-dropping disbelief as Astrid floats in and takes her place in a chair in front of eight couples, for Astrid looks as Swedish as her name suggests.

If a casting director for a teen American movie was looking for a stereotypical Swedish young woman for a scene that makes the boys drool, Astrid would be a shoo-in.

Her hair is silky and white-blonde, her scent........

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