Trigger Warning: This story includes references to sexual assault and the emotional impact of trauma. Reader discretion is advised.

As part of our Pride Month series, we are spotlighting stories of courage, identity, and belonging from LGBTQIA individuals across India. 

In this deeply personal first-person account, Kolkata-based human rights researcher, educator, dancer, and podcast creator Shovan Sinha Ray reflects on a life shaped by resilience — from surviving sexual assault and an HIV diagnosis to building communities through dance, advocacy, and storytelling. 

Through moments of pain, self-discovery, and acceptance, Shovan shares what it means to create belonging in a world that often asks people to hide parts of themselves. His story is a reminder that healing is rarely linear, but that hope, dignity, and connection can emerge from even the most difficult journeys. 

The day I thought my life had changed forever

I was pursuing my Master's in International Studies at Christ University and living in the university hostel. On the surface, life seemed to be moving forward. I attended classes, kept up with my academics, and spent every spare moment dancing. Yet beneath that routine, I was struggling.

In December 2018, I met someone I liked. He was a friend's friend, and one evening he called, sounding distressed. I went to meet him, believing he needed help. What happened next changed my life.

I was drugged and sexually assaulted by an unknown cab driver and the person I had trusted.

The memories of that night remain fragmented. I remember confusion and pain. I remember trying to make sense of what had happened. Most of all, I remember feeling completely alone.

For two days, I could barely move. Eventually, I gathered enough strength to return to the hostel and seek medical help. The driver who brought me back may never know it, but his kindness helped me get through one of the darkest moments of my life.

By the time I reached the clinic, more than 72 hours had passed. I did not know about PEP then. I was diagnosed with HIV that day.

PEP, or Post-Exposure Prophylaxis, is a short course of antiretroviral medication that can prevent HIV infection if taken within 72 hours of potential exposure.

Dr Praneeth and Dr Ashoojit counselled me with the compassion I desperately needed. I tried to appear calm and told myself everything would be fine. But the truth was that I was carrying a pain I did not yet know how to name, let alone heal from.

Looking back, I realise that day was not only about an HIV diagnosis. It was the beginning of a much longer journey of learning how to live, trust, love, and belong........

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