The worst part of ageing? No one knows what I’m talking about any more

August 22, 2026 — 5:00am

You have reached your maximum number of saved items.

Remove items from your saved list to add more.

If you are older than 25, you have a problem: your customary expressions no longer make any sense. They refer to events, artefacts or people that have long faded from memory. This leaves you vulnerable to damaging criticism.

There you are, for example, in the posh restaurant and you open the menu to discover that the steak costs $47.90. For those of my generation, it’s pretty much mandated by law that you must look up from the menu and, in a jovial tone, say: “Looks like I’ll have to consult my bank manager.”

The others at the table are meant to chortle along, and then say: “Oh my god, yes, I better check with my own bank manager.”

Instead of participating in this comforting ritual, everyone – at least everyone under 60 – now looks confused. “Bank manager? Who’s that? What’s that? Do you have someone in the bank who you can actually call?”

What was meant as a sunny aside now has you condemned as the sort of plutocrat who has a hotline to the head of Macquarie Bank. “Hello Shemara, I don’t mean to disturb your evening, but do you think my account could stand a $47 steak?”

You try and stare down the........

© The Age