My supermarket made me ‘shopper of the week’. I don’t believe a word it says any more

March 5, 2026 — 6:30pm

You have reached your maximum number of saved items.

Remove items from your saved list to add more.

Save this article for later

Add articles to your saved list and come back to them anytime.

About two years ago, my local Colesworth made me “shopper of the week” and comped me everything in my basket – $106 worth of groceries – in a spectacular, unprecedented, and tragically since-unrepeated act of corporate largesse.

A cynic might have found the timing suspicious, given the “award” was bestowed on me in a whisper at the self-checkout, three days after the manager made the critical mistake of soliciting my feedback about the store’s new reno in front of a bunch of besuited muckety-mucks from Colesworth HQ.

I was reflecting on that experience in the very same outlet yesterday when I had an epiphany: since then, the supermarket, with its temperamental trolleys, cramped self-checkout area and security cameras that make everyone look like a cartoon villain, has somehow morphed into my toxic boyfriend. I don’t like it, I don’t trust it, I don’t believe a word it says.

And in the interests of owning my part in our limping dog of a relationship, let me be clear: I’m the clueless girlfriend who keeps........

© The Age