Who doesn’t like feeling appreciated? In a culture and at a time when cynicism can carry the day, others’ appreciation matters. We feel noticed, respected, and reassured.

A couple of weeks ago, my wife told me she appreciates how I go about being a dad. She’s not an effusive person who deals in flattery or faint praise. When she says she appreciates me, she means it. I’m touched, and I want to keep doing the stuff that earned her respect and approval. It’s fulfilling in ways few other things are.

Since then, several other people have told me, “I appreciate you.”

I rarely struggle to find words or discern my feelings, but I wasn't sure how to respond to these “I appreciate yous.” I felt uneasy and obliged to reciprocate, but I resisted because the sentiment seemed contrived. Appreciation means something more to me—something that can’t be enforced by a contract I never signed.

Confused, I pondered these recent, seemingly random “I appreciate yous” for some time. It wasn't the act of expressing appreciation in the workplace that felt off. Many times over the years I've expressed appreciation for coworkers, and they've expressed their appreciation........

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