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Complex emotions during a parent's decline include anticipatory grief, regret, and anger.

Adult children of an addicted elderly parent have unique challenges during the parent’s decline.

Adult daughters may have particular challenges in this journey.

Self-care is vital during this time.

Anticipatory grief, regret, triggering, guilt: All of these and more may be ingredients of the stew of complex emotions swirling around for adult children of a dying parent. For the adult child who grew up in a dysfunctional or addicted family environment, this roller coaster emotional journey can be even more challenging.

The lifelong relationship and history between the parent and (now adult) child certainly will impact the emotions the adult child experiences during the parent’s declining health. Certain individuals will experience the anticipatory grief process as bittersweet, especially if the terminally ill parent remains in control of their cognitive faculties. The adult child and parent may take this time to reminisce about happy memories together. For other adult children, the experience is likely to be more complex, especially in the case of a parent with a terminal illness related to an addiction. In those situations, the adult child’s attempts to be supportive while processing anger, resentment, and unforgiveness that surfaces from a traumatic or dysfunctional childhood can make for a turbulent time.

Complex emotions often include anticipatory grief, as well as potentially guilt, regret, unforgiveness, and resentment. During this journey, the adult child may find that surrendering control of this situation can be particularly healthy. The adult child may also begin to face the topic of mortality itself, in their parent and in themself. Additionally, it may be a confusing time for the adult child as they experience role-reversal in caregiving of the declining parent. The bereavement may be more complex in the case of dysfunctional families, including a more ambivalent grieving process as the adult child recalls a far-from-perfect childhood........

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