Shame is a painful perception of self as failing, inadequate, impotent, defective, unattractive, or unlovable.

Pride is a pleasant perception of self as successful, accomplished, potent, admirable, attractive, or lovable.

Inner perceptions of self implicitly guide thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Rarely do we consciously consider ourselves to be failures, successful, lovable, or unlovable. Inner self shame manifests only when shameful behavior is exposed—that is, when we’re caught.

Psychological distress is unavoidable when inner and outer selves contradict each other. The most common contradiction:

Inner-self implicit shame.

Outer-self explicit pride.

Indicators of this contradiction are:

Self-obsession.

Inflated ego.

Entitlement.

Manipulation.

Devaluing others.

A virulent way of........

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