Family estrangement has become a widely discussed phenomenon, spawning support forums, books, and podcasts for both estranged adult children and their parents. While cutting off some family contact often serves as self-protection, not all estrangements follow the same pattern. Some ruptures may be the product of undue influence, a form of external control that leads a person to make decisions that go against their best interest, rather than the exercise of genuine autonomy.

Abuse and chronic boundary violations provide legitimate grounds for ending parental contact. Such situations typically involve lifelong patterns of harmful behavior that parents refuse to acknowledge or change. They don’t revolve around single incidents or minor conflicts.

When parents are continually abusive, maintaining relationships perpetuates harm. Similarly, in families dominated by addiction, untreated mental illness, or narcissistic dynamics, adult children may need to establish distance from multiple members to break generational cycles of maltreatment.

No one should face shame for protecting themselves. Society is still learning that being “family” does not offer a de facto license to abuse or control.

By contrast, a concerning subset of estrangement cases involves adult children abruptly severing ties with their loving parents, often with little objective explanation. In such........

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