What Is Emotion Regulation?

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Avoiding thoughts and emotions often makes them more persistent and intense.

Avoidance can take many forms.

Small shifts in how you respond can help you use your emotions more effectively so you can let them go.

Have you ever tried to make yourself stop thinking about something uncomfortable?

Or suddenly found yourself cleaning the bathroom instead of starting the work task you’re stressed out about?

If you answered yes to these questions, you’re like most of us. Humans are hard-wired to maximize pleasure and minimize pain, so it makes sense that our first instinct would be to avoid negative or uncomfortable experiences, emotions included.

Unfortunately, that approach to dealing with our emotions and the situations that provoke them tends to backfire.

The Paradox of Avoidance: See for Yourself

Let me illustrate this for you with an exercise. Bring to mind an embarrassing or cringe memory that you’d prefer not to think about. For me, this would be the time I walked around my college campus with staticky underwear (clean, at least) clinging to the back of my pants (my face is getting hot just typing this). Once you’ve got the memory........

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