The term “conspiracy theory” calls to mind a variety of dubious claims and controversies, like rumors about Area 51, claims that the Earth is flat, and the movement known as QAnon.

At first blush, these phenomena would seem to have little in common with bogus word origins. But there are a variety of false etymologies that spread virally and refuse to go away, in much the same way that stories about chemtrails, black helicopters, and UFOs refuse to die.

What is a false etymology? Simply put, it’s an invented word history that seems to explain a “real” or hidden meaning that most people are unaware of.

Some examples: “rule of thumb” has nothing to do with the thickness of a switch that husbands could employ to strike their wives. “Marmalade” doesn’t derive from the utterance “Marie est malade” (Mary is ill). “News” isn’t an acronym for “north, east, west, and south.”

And despite Van Halen’s 1991 studio album title, the phrase “for unlawful carnal knowledge” is not the origin of the language’s most notorious expletive. Ditto for “tip”—it’s not an acronym for “to insure promptness.” And “posh” doesn’t derive from “port out, starboard home” (the preferred—and more expensive—cabin option on British ships bound for India).

Many of these stories have been floating around........

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