Why Relationships Matter

Take our Can You Spot Red Flags In A Relationship?

Find a therapist to strengthen relationships

Early in therapy, saving tough topics for sessions can prevent explosive arguments at home.

Many couples who make progress in therapy begin to have healthier conversations outside of sessions.

Difficult issues can be discussed outside of therapy once couples have some experience.

Therapy may also be an appropriate use of time to have the most challenging conversations.

John and his partner Mark are in couples therapy with me, and John always saves up conversations about money—their hot-button issue—until they're safely ensconced in my office. There are plenty of opportunities for them to discuss financial decisions and complaints at home, but John refuses to because "I know we'll end up in an argument," he says.

John and Mark aren't alone; to my surprise, another couple asked me recently whether they should wait until their session to talk about challenging subjects, or discuss them together first outside of therapy. It's an interesting question. It's true that many couples come to therapy in the first place because they're having difficulty working through a challenging scenario and perceive it as a safe space in which to voice their problems and work out a solution. But which comes first?

It's important for me to note here that I (and this is true for other clinicians I know) don't advocate for any one "side" of an issue. I'm here to moderate the conversation, to facilitate the process between the two partners to help them hear and understand each other and to communicate. I don't offer solutions; I help them find their way to their solution. So if........

© Psychology Today