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How Trying the Opposite Can Help You Get Unstuck

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A useful 180-degree shift is a move that interrupts the usual pattern.

Repeating a solution that is not working can unintentionally maintain the problem you are trying to solve.

Changing even one response can disrupt a repetitive relationship pattern and change the outcome.

This post was co-authored by Jeffrey B. Jackson, Ph.D., LMFT, Associate Professor at Brigham Young University.

''We need a new way of thinking to solve the problems caused by the old way of thinking.'' –A. Einstein

''We need a new way of thinking to solve the problems caused by the old way of thinking.'' –A. Einstein

A Gary Larson "Far Side" comic shows a boy pushing with all his might on a door to open it. A nearby sign reads “Midvale School for the Gifted.” And on the door, a single word: “Pull.”

No matter how smart we are, sometimes we end up managing things in our lives like this boy. When we encounter problems in our personal lives or our relationships, we do what we know how to do: We try harder. We explain more. We give more advice. We think harder. We try to control more. And the problem doesn’t budge. But what if the answer lies in changing direction rather than increasing our effort?

Interrupting Unhelpful Patterns

This idea of trying the opposite of what we’ve been doing comes from brief strategic therapy, an approach that examines how our attempted solutions may sometimes maintain or even worsen the problem we are trying to solve. The goal is to identify the pattern and respond in a way that interrupts it. Instead of trying harder, we may need to try........

© Psychology Today