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Self-compassion is vital; don't blame yourself for another's lack of self-awareness.

Accept you can't "fix" or make someone see the impact of their own behavior.

Let others experience the consequences of their actions without smoothing things over.

This is Part 3 of "The Blind Spot: When People Are Unaware of How They Come Across."

When someone is unaware or in denial about how they come across and how their behavior impacts others, trying to explain it to them doesn’t usually make them more aware or change their behavior. So what to do when your partner or someone else important behaves in ways that bring negative results in the world, which they then complain about or want empathy for?

It's not easy to navigate someone unaware, who doesn't take responsibility for their own actions; it's a challenge to stay loving and non-judgmental. The first step, however, is not about them; it's about you. You need to acknowledge your own experience, to bring self-compassion to the difficulty you experience in relationship with their blindness and denial. And to make space for how frustrating and maddening it is to watch someone who causes their own suffering, refuses to see it, and then wants compassion for what they created. It’s important to be on your own side and not blame yourself for "failing" to make them change. Self-compassion means not taking on what is their responsibility, theirs to change, and not indulging in the habit of self-blame.

Practicing Self-Compassion When Dealing With Unawarenes

Once you’ve allowed yourself to have an experience, the next step is acceptance—that is, to shift out of the “fixing” and changing-them mode. To stop correcting the other person’s behavior, and give up on trying to make them understand that what they're doing is causing the response they're getting. While you may never entirely stop........

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