Being more aware of our feelings can make things worse—if we judge ourselves for having them.

Vulnerable, unwanted feelings are a fact of human existence.

When we stop litmus-testing our feelings, we stop evaluating ourselves as defective for having them.

I can't believe I'm finally writing this, but Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment is officially out!

Today, I’m sharing one of the core ideas from the book. Enjoy!

Something weird is happening in the mental health world. We are more fluent in therapy-speak, aware of our attachment styles, and ready to assert our boundaries than ever, yet research finds we’re only getting more insecure. How could it be—amidst the thousands of influencers helping us achieve an elusive secure attachment style (myself being one of them, I add humbly)—that we seem only to be getting worse? And is it possible that the very things that we thought could help—this newfound literacy around our dysfunction—could be the very source of our undoing?

Reactivity to Feelings

As a psychologist, I’ve noticed we’ve become terribly reactive to our (normal, natural) feelings of discomfort. Then, we take our........

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