This week, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when I noticed the woman in front of me wearing the most unapologetically joyful pair of yellow boots. The kind of yellow that skips right past muted mustard and lands on full sunflower, like a little wink of summer on a dreary winter day.

As most of us would, I almost kept the thought to myself. We notice something lovely and swallow it. Instead, I heard myself say, "I just have to tell you, those boots are fantastic."

She turned around, startled for half a second, and then her whole face shifted. She lit up with a real smile, the kind that starts in the eyes and spreads from cheek to cheek. She laughed and said, "I wasn't sure if I could pull them off."

"You absolutely can," I said.

And that was it. We both ordered our drinks and went on with our days, yet the energy in that small square of space had changed, all in less than 10 seconds.

Why This Tiny Thing Matters More Than We Think

There's solid research behind what happened in that coffee line.

In a 2021 study, Zhao and Epley found that people consistently underestimate how good it feels to receive a compliment. The givers worry they'll come off awkward or intrusive, but the receivers report feeling significantly more uplifted than the givers predicted. Our hesitation is usually based on faulty assumptions. We convince ourselves it will be awkward, or that it won't matter much, and we're usually wrong.

There is also a body of research in positive psychology showing that small acts of kindness increase well-being for the person performing them. Sonja Lyubomirsky and her colleagues have found that intentional acts of kindness can boost happiness and life satisfaction when practiced consistently (2013). What I love about this: It is not complicated. It does not require a........

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