What Is Perfectionism?

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The people-pleaser treats approval as a magical balm, with the potential to heal them and their relationships.

Other-oriented perfectionists tend to withhold praise because it makes them feel weak.

Learning that praise and criticism are often used strategically can help reduce their emotional effects.

People who easily give you their approval are looking for reasons to make you happy and feel good about yourself. They’re able and willing to see the good in you.

Others rarely, if ever, provide approval. Those individuals consistently provide reasons why it’s unearned. They nitpick and complain about missed details, and try to justify why each one is so meaningful. The people-pleaser, or socially prescribed perfectionist, will internalize this standard, blaming themself for the criticism. But, in doing so, they overlook the internal world of the critic.

Why do some people resist giving praise? Do they just have high standards because they’re incredibly competent and, thus, impatient with most others?

Perfectionists Who Demand Perfection From Others

While socially prescribed perfectionists believe that others expect them to be perfect, other-oriented perfectionists expect perfection from others. But why? Is their approval solely or mainly based on merit? If so, how do we know?

When we search for biased thinking, we first ask: Is the response excessive or emotional? In the case of nitpicking, objectively, the........

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