"There is in us an instinct for newness, for renewal, for a liberation of creative power...To be born again is not to become somebody else, but to become ourselves" -Thomas Merton

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world" -Mahatma Gandhi

Since the map is not the territory, it is essential to distinguish spirituality from religion, as it is usually understood. This is especially important when looking at its positive influence on relationships. Asta Kallo writes about a recent Pew Research Center Survey indicating how "Americans are far more likely to say they have become more spiritual rather than becoming more religious." Cultural anthropologists have long described how relationships can manifest in stressful ways. Religion itself doesn't always allow for flexibility in resolving relational problems and mostly creates a dependency on conformity. This can also be seen in certain cults that appear to be religious. However, in contrast, how we communicate with our own uniqueness, as is the case with each snowflake, is the core of our relational spirituality.

This occurs in the space in-between us where we could communicate fully. It is a transitional win-win place that can go to exciting depths and profound possibilities. When this occurs, we enter the spiritual realm of how we can interact with a hint of simultaneity to something larger, i.e., our environment, community, and its many institutions that educate. Spirituality becomes what creates an understanding of how we are all interdependently connected.Regardless of the security that can accompany a commitment to a religious doctrine, the downside can be the exclusion of other beliefs or agnostic views. Thankfully, there are examples of "mystical" frameworks within all religions that supersede dependency on exclusive indoctrination. Individuals such as Thomas Merton, Martin Buber, Shunryu Suzuki, and Zain Hashmi to mention a few are examples of this. The energy of spirituality, especially in 2026, is getting a boost from the major sects in the United States including the celebration of the lunar New Year, as they begin their fasting rituals and meditative periods simultaneously.This is an unusual and positive opportunity to cultivate a collective side by side, people-to-people mutual sharing of the religious commonalities that can lead to a more universal spiritual Intimacy without any institutional restrictions. It is a time when the valuable global objectives that all religions have for the good of humanity are articulated; however, what follows the rituals is not always a continuation of the harmonious sharing that once-a-year events can achieve.How can that level of collective non sectarian spirituality be sustained? The commonality that can emerge from these rituals could benefit relationships year-round. There are many similar beliefs that thread through the major religions available to be a catalyst for the enduring essence of spiritualism. One does not have to be part of a fasting ritual to feel the energy that beckons spirituality, it can be available to all.After the fasting is over, forums can and should be organized to discuss the different contexts to explore common basic needs relevant to our lives, such as family, community, economics, media, schooling, etc. This will extend to ways to consider how tending to the needs of others can occur. This exercise will foster a shared sense of what it means to be human. It also reveals how it is to be yourself in relationships.If you look deeper, you'll see that all religions encourage us to share values despite recognizing differences. They emphasize similarities such as the desire for peace, justice, and community service. Personal and communal growth often leads to profound mutuality in regards to relationships, underscoring the importance of fostering a spirit of empathy and altruism.The source of these efforts, although seemingly wholesome, do in certain cases still exhibit gender and diversity discrimination as well as unequal distribution of power and enforcement. However, to create a more peaceful and connected world, what is needed is to highlight without constraints the needed humanity to influence reforms that respect all, whether within a given religion or without one. This process of articulating the common needs and patterns that connect offer hope for a true process of spirituality. It not only recognizes our common needs but also understands our interdependence.

Suggestions and prompts to help tend to and understand the needs of others

In all your relationships, pledge to be an active listener, with non-judgmental communication and a win-win format to understand others and their inner worlds.

Regularly engage in shared aesthetic spiritual activities, such as nature walks, gratitude journaling, Aikido, Tai Chi, Yoga meditation, Qicong, music, etc.

Discuss the impact of the educational process regarding our youth including the future of technology and A I.Support collaborative spiritual growth individually and with others.Encourage and understand others' unique spiritual journeys.Actively work on being forgiving, ridding yourself of resentment without condoning or minimizing past hurts.Discuss with another or others how spirituality is about the right relationship between ourselves and something larger.Discuss what Thomas Merton believed about the importance of silence, and authentic self-discovery being "the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope."In a small group, share what you feel Martin Buber meant by "the world is not comprehensible, but it is embraceable through the embracing of one of its beings." Also, what do you think was the message in his sense of “I and Thou” compared to “I and it”.Share what comes to your mind regarding what Shunryu Suzuki means by having a beginner's mind, where there are "many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few”.According to Zain Hashmi, poetry, aestheticism, and the dissolution of the ego lead to the idea that "Happiness comes from helping others, by being with others, and by sharing, even if it's only a smile." How can this be manifested in your relationships and group discussions?Final word:What I have found to be the most common theme coming from the major religions when stripped of their opposing doctrines is to listen and learn from others without judgment. This is the essence of being spiritual which is to be empathetic and altruistic as you experience and respect all the interdependent contexts we travel through in our lives. This is spiritualism and how it can improve relationships with others and nature.

Kallo, Asta, "Around 4 in 10 Americans have become more spiritual over time; fewer have become more religious," Short Reads, Pew Research Center, January 17, 2024.

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