Understanding Jealousy

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Envy grows out of social comparison, and what we envy often points to what we believe we lack.

The same pang of envy can signal an unmet need, a clash of values, or a hidden fear of failing.

Envy often traces back to early attachment, sibling rivalry, or families that prized achievement.

Envy is rooted in social comparison. An envious individual compares their own status, abilities, or possessions to those of others, and this comparison can take many forms. For example, are you feeling envious of someone you don’t know on Instagram because you don’t think they deserve to be on vacation? Are you feeling envy toward a billionaire because you don’t think they deserve their wealth? Do you feel envious when your best friend gets a promotion? These are all different scenarios of envy. The first might make you realize you need a vacation. The second may stem from feeling that someone you admire only deserves to be wealthy, so the envy stems from value-based thinking about who gets what. The third is a friend of yours, and you may need to look at your issues around why your friend’s success makes you feel like you bad or less than.

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