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The Radical Act of Listening to Understand

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11.04.2026

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Listening to understand brings people together through the shared experience.

Being curious through conversation allows others to feel seen and heard.

We often have more in common when we allow ourselves to hear and be heard.

Recognizing the naming the feelings behind the conversation creates a common bond.

Last week, I did what in today’s society is unthinkable. I had a civil conversation with someone with whom I agree on nothing. No, it wasn’t a keyboard warrior duel or a tense debate with the goal of making my opponent feel as small as possible; it was an old-school conversation where each side genuinely cared about what the other was saying. Like I said, unthinkable.

It felt rare, because it is. Pew Research Center data shows that 72 percent of Republicans and 63 percent of Democrats now view the opposing party as more immoral than other Americans. Eight in ten U.S. adults say the two parties can't even agree on basic facts. We're not just divided on policy; we're divided on reality.

Against that backdrop, sitting down with someone whose worldview feels like the opposite of yours is increasingly uncommon. I did it anyway. And what I discovered changed how I move through the world.

Setting the intention

What made this conversation different was that I chose to enter it with curiosity. I have been increasingly confused about how I can know with all my heart that something is wrong, and yet there are others who feel just as convicted to the opposite truth.

So when the opportunity presented itself to have a conversation about this with someone I know, I took the plunge. What made this conversation fruitful was that I........

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