The Science of Mating

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Research suggests that kissing performs three essential functions in a successful romantic relationship.

Specifically, kissing provides an assessment of attraction, promotes attachment, and sparks arousal.

These functions create “affective reciprocity” as partners share enjoyment from kissing each other too.

Why do we make such a big deal out of kissing in romantic relationships? Why does a kiss seem so important for judging chemistry and attraction? Also, why is the exchange of kissing and affection so essential for maintaining long-term relationships and sexual satisfaction, too? Over the years, research has pondered these questions—and provided interesting answers!

Summarizing those answers, kissing appears to serve three main functions: (1) assessing mate compatibility and attraction between partners, (2) attaching those partners to one another emotionally, and (3) arousing each other for sex. Furthermore, when combined, these three functions create what is known as affective reciprocity, which helps strengthen a relationship through shared enjoyment of intimate interactions over time. So, below, we will look at those processes in more detail to support your own dating, mating, and relationship efforts!

Kissing for Assessment, Attachment, and Arousal

Drawing on previous work by Eibl-Eibesfeldt (1972), Wlodarski and Dunbar (2013) noted that romantic kissing occurred in over 90 percent of cultural mating behaviors, which often focused on mate assessment, attachment, and sexual arousal processes. To explore these possible functions of kissing more specifically, the pair surveyed 902 participants about their own kissing and mating behaviors. Their results showed that kissing was particularly important for the initial assessment of mate attraction and later building of........

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