What's a Parent's Role?

Take our Authoritative Parenting Test

Find a family therapist near me

"I can't afford" it can turn a boundary you are trying to set into a debate you don't want.

Just because you have the money does not mean you "should" give it or that it will truly hep your adult child.

Remember that your support can build independence but your repeated rescuing can undermine it.

If you are reading this post and are perplexed by the title, you are probably thinking either I flipped my rocker (yep, for me, being an old boomer, that saying lives on), or you straight-up despise the title, or maybe you are intrigued by it. To be clear about why I chose this article’s title, many of my parent-coaching clients share how they rely (unsuccessfully) on the phrase “I can’t afford it” when responding to their adult child’s repeated requests for financial support.

Okay, I get that some parents may be saying, but Dr. Jeff, you don’t get it: I really can’t afford it. I’m a psychologist, not an accountant, and how much money you have in your accounts is not my business, and actually it is not even the point of this post. What I do want to discuss is how these frequently relied-on four words (“I can’t afford it”) end up getting more parents........

© Psychology Today