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One common question I hear: “How do I find the confidence to do these things without alcohol?”

Over the years, we have turned to alcohol for a confidence boost in these and other scenarios:

Showing up for a networking event.

Walking up to that attractive person smiling at you across the room.

Without alcohol, it can feel as if we're left to face our vulnerability and self-doubt alone, without our usual armor.

An Invisible Drinking Loop Is the Borrowed-Confidence Loop

For most seasoned drinkers who have eventually come to question their drinking, alcohol is often only what's on the surface. Beneath the drinking patterns, one or more invisible drinking loops usually keep the drinking pattern alive.

When it comes to alcohol and confidence, people often get caught in what I call the borrowed confidence drinking loop. It’s one of the 11 most common drinking loops I see in my work.

In this particular drinking loop, our drinking pattern is driven by our need for self-trust and confidence to go for the things that matter to us, and is fueled by the belief that alcohol can help us boost confidence. Through repetition, drinking becomes our default to quiet fear and self-doubt in situations that require self-trust. Unfortunately, over time, by repeatedly borrowing confidence........

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