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Infertility creates an exhausting emotional cycle of hope, uncertainty, disappointment, and recurring grief.

All of the waiting during fertility treatment can intensify anxiety, uncertainty, and loss of control.

Infertility involves ambiguous loss: grieving the family and future you imagined while still hoping for them.

For anyone who has struggled with infertility, those three words can carry an extraordinary amount of emotional weight. Maybe there will be enough eggs. Maybe this is the month the pregnancy test will finally be positive. Maybe the embryo will be normal. Maybe it will implant. Maybe this will finally be our turn.

Infertility is unusual because it can create a chronic level of stress that involves asking you to repeatedly prepare yourself for two completely different outcomes at the same time. You’re trying to hold out hope that everything will work out while bracing yourself for the possibility of another disappointment.

And then you have to wait.

Why Waiting Is Anything but Passive

People sometimes talk about the “waiting” of infertility as though nothing is happening. But psychologically, quite a lot is happening.

Uncertainty and lack of control are recurring themes in research on the psychological experience of infertility and fertility treatment. Women describe not knowing whether treatment will work, struggling to control the uncontrollable, and trying to maintain hope despite unsuccessful treatment (Aiello et al., 2025).

During the days between treatment and results, the brain can go into overdrive.

You may jump every time the phone rings, hoping or worrying that it’s the doctor calling. You check and recheck your phone to make sure you didn't somehow miss a call from the clinic. You may monitor every physical sensation,........

© Psychology Today