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Ego-driven striving can leave us feeling isolated, inadequate, and never satisfied.

Noticing the ego as one part of you can create space for greater perspective.

Asking why you are striving can reveal whether ego or something deeper is driving you.

Turning your attention outward can reduce self-focus and deepen your sense of connection.

I opened up my Instagram this morning and saw a reel suggesting that the best way to get followers is to stop telling stories and start "yapping." The instructions were to hold a camera to your face and "yap" about yourself and your life as if the person watching was in the room with you, just observing what's happening in your head. The instructions were clear: Don't just yap; make sure your yapping is curated. Pretend like you're yapping, but make sure there's a point that drives people to your page.

To be honest, my first response was: Oh, I better start yapping more. I'm not doing enough. What will I yap about? A yap a day will clearly get me where I need to go.

We live in a world that is an evolutionary mismatch for our "selfing." Humans evolved egos as protectors — probably around the time of the agricultural revolution, when we moved from hunting and gathering to farming and needed to start planning ahead, thinking about ourselves, worrying, and ruminating.

In his book The Curse of the Self, Mark Leary describes the ego as a mental apparatus for thinking consciously about ourselves — and argues that it evolved the way other adaptations like opposable thumbs evolved, to help us survive.........

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