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When one partner stops trying, less conflict can mask a deeper loss of intimacy and connection.

Resignation is not acceptance; it often means someone has stopped believing their needs will be met.

A quieter marriage isn't always healthier. Get curious about whether the silence reflects peace or giving up.

We often call marriage a partnership, and that implies equality, sharing the load, or divvying up tasks and responsibilities in a way that feels fair. Sometimes that means one person does more than the other because they have more capacity. That can also include more relational tending – planning dates, trips, nurturing the other and the relationship emotionally, or reading books. However, in my practice as a psychologist and sex therapist, what I witness frequently is a relationship that has become profoundly unequal.

Rather than two people actively working on the marriage, there’s only one. There's only one person who leans into intimacy, suggests therapy, reads books, listens to podcasts, schedules dates, and does all the things that are recommended for a good and healthy marriage to flourish. They are doing their part but their spouse?...Their supposed partner?...Not so much.

The participatory partner may keep trying for a........

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