Why Relationships Matter

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Telling the truth about desire, limits, disappointment, withheld yearnings, or change activates discomfort.

People become honest because experience teaches their nervous system that they can survive it.

When we learn to tolerate discomfort, authenticity becomes possible without losing ourselves.

A question arises again and again in clinical work and in ordinary life: Does the willingness to tolerate physical discomfort, like the strain and fatigue of exercise, relate to the willingness to tolerate the emotional discomfort required for honesty in relationships?

At first glance, these seem like separate worlds. One lives in muscle and breath, the other in attachment and fear of loss. One burns quads; the other threatens belonging. And yet, beneath both is the same human question: Can I........

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