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Some kids are wired to process their experiences through a negative lens.

When something doesn’t happen the way they expect/desire, they have a hard time coping and externalize blame.

How you respond in these moments can mitigate or exacerbate their negative mindset and reaction.

“We sit down for dinner. Declan (5) whines, ‘You didn’t get me my milk!' Not, ‘Thank you so much for this delicious meal you have made after a long workday, Mommy. Can I please have some milk?’ We get to the playground, and he complains, ‘You didn’t bring the right pail!’ We read three books at bedtime, he accuses, ‘We didn’t get to read my favorite book about the pandas (because he hadn’t chosen it!) The whining is out of control and driving us mad.”

“My son, Harry (7) is very attached to me and demanding of my attention, which leads to him getting a lot more of it than my other kids. Last night, when I told him a babysitter was coming, he pleaded for me not to go and accused, ‘You care more about your friends than me!’ This gets me in the gut and makes me feel guilty—like I’m rejecting and hurting him. When I take a step back, I know that........

© Psychology Today