Chemistry is less about fate and more about how the brain builds connection.

Small communication strategies can make others feel more seen, valued, and connected.

Hope grows when we stop waiting for connection and start creating it.

Just about everyone has heard someone say, “We have chemistry,” as if they have some magic force that is invisible and unexplainable between them.

However, human neuroscience tells another story: It appears that what we refer to as “chemistry” actually occurs in terms of how the brain processes those first few minutes of any interaction. The words that you use, the questions that you ask, and the way you respond to other people all have tremendous power to shape how that person feels about you.

Here are three neuroscience-backed ways to build chemistry with anyone you meet.

1. Give Their Brain a Positive Emotional Experience

The worst way to start a conversation where you want to boost chemistry is by asking the typical question, “How are you?”

The problem with “How are you?” is that it will ultimately produce a very predictable answer, and after that, the person you are talking to will lose interest in talking to you.

Instead of asking a question that produces a predictable response, i.e., “How are you?” use a question that makes someone think back to a positive memory about themselves, such as;

What made you smile today?

What made you smile today?

What are you looking forward to this week?

What are you looking forward to this week?

What would you say has been the best experience of the month so far?

What would you say has been........

© Psychology Today