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Self-compassion matters.

Self-compassion can be kind, strong, confident and wise.

Compassion is not a limited resource; you're not taking any away from others when you give yourself some.

Let’s say you would like your partner or roommate to do a better job at cleaning the dishes. So you pick up a dirty dish and scream at them “What the hell do you call this? You’re pathetic, get it right next time!”

Or maybe you’re at work and your co-worker hasn’t completed their task on time. You move in close and yell “You’re an idiot! This is the tenth time this week you’ve been slow”.

I’m guessing that you don’t talk to your partner, flatmate, friend or colleague like that. And not just because it’s not polite, but also because you know that you would never get the best out of someone if you treated them like that. Maybe they’ll argue or fight back, maybe they’ll become scared of you and try to do things to keep you calmer in the future, but nobody can be their best in fight, flight or freeze mode. You won’t see them doing the best they can consistently and learning how to improve.

Yet, I’m also guessing there are times that you talk to yourself like that after you make a mistake or get behind schedule. You might berate yourself, call yourself names or start listing other unrelated things you’ve done wrong. You might talk........

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